Hey Dad
by Dlbn
Summary: Loveless cast members exchange letters with their fathers. *Happy Father's Day. Fic title taken form the song "Emotionless" by Good Charlotte*


Disclaimer: I own NOTHING but the plot. The men that Ritsuka lists as his exes, Akira, Amia and her son, and Mr. Aoyagi's first name are mine. Everything else belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing in this category.

Dedication: Happy Father's Day.

000

 **Ritsu, Father's Day, 2002**

Why am I doing this? I don't care about you, you don't care about me. I guess it's just to shut Kio up. He calls it therapeutic. I call it a waste of time. So does Seimei. But if it shuts Kio up, I suppose it's fine.

You're aware of how much I hate you, I hope. From the day my parents died and you took me in, you were an asshole. Telling an eight-year-old to jump into the graves with his parents? Disgusting. Telling a scared child to grow up and leave you alone? Absurd. Taking my ears…well…you know damn well how I feel about _that_ bit. It's why I can't stand when Kio calls me a pervert. I am not you. I could never harm Ritsuka the way you harmed me. I love that boy more than life itself, after all. Maybe even more than I fear Seimei. Oh, who am I kidding? Fear is much stronger in this case. That's how I landed where I am now. Alone in Gora with Seimei and that psychotic prick he calls a true Fighter. I just want to go home to my friends and my Ritsuka. But _he_ won't let me.

But enough about Seimei. I'm not writing to bitch about one psychotic bastard to another psychotic bastard. I'm just here to get things off my chest and get on with my life as best as I can until I am permitted to return to my Ritsuka.

I blame you for a lot of things. Trust issues, not feeling like I'm good enough, abuse from Seimei, losing my ears, putting up with abuse from whoever will give it to me…until I met Ritsuka. He is so different from Seimei that it's downright disturbing, but I like it that way. I like having a young master who treats me like a person and not some dog off the streets. You made me believe that pain is love. But it's not. Ritsuka has shown me that. All you've ever done was push me so far down the rabbit's hole that I didn't know in from out, up from down.

I'm not one for showing my emotions, least of all to _you_ , so I'm ending this here. Not like you'd care anyway. You only hear what you want to hear.

Soubi

 **Soubi-kun,**

Never forget. You are mine.

Ritsu

000

 **Father, Father's Day, 2004**

Hey, it's me. Kio. Well, I mean, that was obvious, wasn't it? Who else calls you father? I'm the only child, right? Hm, I wonder how true that is. I met someone claiming to be my twin. We look close enough that it could be true, but I have no proof. Shikiko doesn't know, and the rest of the family still has their damn secrets.

Nothing really special to talk to you about. Well, I guess there's one thing. I've told you about my friend Soubi, right? Well he's close with this kid, Ritsuka. the guy Seimei that I complain about? That's his brother, it's how they met. Anyway, Soubi's not around and who knows when and if he's ever coming back here. But not the point. Ritsuka's parents are worse than the Kaido family women. His father ran off with some broad and her kid, and his other used to beat the living shit out of him on a daily basis. I say used to because she threw him out like a week ago. Akira and I found him, shivering at a bus stop. We brought him in to get dried up, but once he told us what happened, there was no hesitation in our decision to let him stay with us. Where else is he going to go, hm? Father's missing, mother threw him out, his aunt and uncle don't care enough about him to help, Soubi's gone…he had nowhere else. I didn't think he'd stay, but I'm glad he did. I didn't get to raise Shikiko as my own. My family took that opportunity out from right under my feet when she was born. I suppose you feel the same way I do, no? I was, what, sixteen when I came to live with you because mother got sick of me standing up for myself? Selfish broad never deserved kids. What the hell did you see in her anyway?

Why am I telling you all this? Well, you took me in and saved my ass, now it's my turn to do it for Ritsuka. He's a good kid, and I mean a real good kid. Doesn't really get in trouble much, but he can have a temper sometimes. He's abiding by our rules rather well. He keeps to curfew, he's not too loud after a certain time, and he cleans off his plate. He does most of his homework by himself, but Akira helps him a lot. I try, but Akira's better at it. I know it's probably the last thing you ever want to hear, but it's pretty damn sexy when he does. Ha. I mean, what's sexier than a father taking care of his child and his responsibilities, am I right? I know Ritsuka isn't our son, we're not his parents. I'm not that delusional. But it feels like we are. That kid's been so sheltered and gone through so much with his mother, it's like he's learning how to be his own person again. He used to tell Soubi to live for himself and think for himself. I wonder if he realized he should have been following that same advice all along?

He said he doesn't want to stay long because he doesn't want to be a bother, though I know he's not a bother to either of us we like having him here. If it was Seimei, it would be a different story. But it's not so it's all good. I like driving him to school and picking him up and all that. There's a Parents' Day in a couple weeks. He doesn't want either of us to go, u I'd feel pretty shitty if at least one of us wasn't there to support him. It's not like his own parents can be bothered, right?

I never thought that at twenty-three-years old that I'd be raising a teenager. I never thought that I'd have another kid around that wasn't Shikiko in brief visits. I never thought I'd be considering having kids with the love of my life because I just like being Ritsuka's surrogate father and how Akira acts like a parent with him. Call it strange if you want, and I know that two men can't have children, but there are other ways to do that, you know?

I guess I've just realized that I'm a lot like you in some ways. Taking in a teenager whose mother kicked him to the curb, getting a second chance at being a parent. I like being a parental figure. It's…fun. I guess I've learned from you how to be a good father despite all the odds stacked against me, you know?

I'll leave you alone about this, but Akira and I would like to visit with Ritsuka sometime so you can meet him. I'm sure you'll love him just as much as we do.

Much love,

Kio

 **Kio,**

I suppose there is a lot more in common between the two of us than either of us would like to admit, but I'm glad one of us did. I'm glad to hear you are doing well, also.

How old is this Ritsuka kid? No offense, but I don't want you getting in trouble for having a minor not related to you living in your house. And no, I didn't need to hear how sexy it is when your fiancé helps Ritsuka was his homework, but thanks for sharing, I suppose. You and I both know our family is eight degrees of screwed up, but rising above it is what counts. Being separated from you most of your life was as hard for me as being separated from Shikiko is from you. They say that girls will always be daddy's little girl. She never got a chance to be that thanks to that wretched family. They only want us for what's between our legs. Ha, ironic, isn't it? They don't want to be objectified by men, yet their only concern with men is that we're able to make children.

Anyway, whatever you guys are up to, as long as you're happy, keep at it. From the sound of it, Ritsuka-kun needed some kind of father figure in his life. And if that's going to be you and Akira, then the more power to you. Plenty of guys won't want to raise a child that isn't theirs, as unfortunate as that is. Both of us were stripped from that right simply because of our last name, but at least you get to make up for it for him while he's young. Same as I got to do with you. My only regret is not fighting harder to get you out of there. But they would have trampled me in court. I couldn't put you through that.

At the risk of sounding sentimental, I'm glad that you and Akira are happy together and I hope that continues. He's good to you.

Love,

Ryo

000

 **Father, Father's Day, 2004**

It's been quite some time since we last spoke, hasn't it? I believe it's been about two years. I believe we last spoke when you came asking about that alleged twin of yours, hm? I regret that I didn't have the answers for you back then, and I still don't. All I know is that there are a lot of secrets within this family that probably remain better unspoken and kept within the tomes of the family records in the records building.

I am not writing to apologize for anything that was said that may have offended, or to offer up answers you are seeking but I do not have. Even if I knew, I'm not certain I would have told you. You're not the strongest person in the world. Your constitution is weak. You can't handle the kinds of things I found within the tomes. I have not spoken with my mother about what I found. She would tell me the same thing; stay silent. I may be the matriarch of this family since your beloved mother's passing three years ago, but that does not mean that I should be doing anything against my mother's wishes. I am still a little girl, after all, and little girls are better seen and not heard until they are women.

The only think that I suppose there is left to say is happy Father's Day. Though you haven't raised me for obvious reasons, you still try to make a connection with me, and I guess I applaud you for that. Most men can't be bothered.

Shikiko

 **Shikiko-sama,**

They won't let you keep this. I'm not foolish enough to think that they will. We all have definitions of what makes a person strong or week. I really don't expect answers out of you or anyone else there. If I ever see her again, I'll have to just take what she says at face value as the truth, whatever that may be. I regret that I was not able to be there for you growing up, and that you are given such a heavy burden of being the family matriarch at such a young age. Unfortunately, despite how much I despise the circumstances, they cannot be changed. I just hope that when you are older, if you have a son of your own, you treat him with the love and respect my father and I never got from the unforgiving, matriarchal family we were born into.

Love always,

Kio

000

 **Aidien, Father's Day, 2006**

It sounds weird to call you dad, since you've never really been a father to me or anything. Wow, that came out ruder than I thought it was going to, sorry. I don't have any animosity towards you. If anything, I'm just sad. I mean, I guess you were around more when I was a kid, but I don't remember any of that. I feel like I was robbed, honestly, of the chance of having a father. Whatever kind of bullshit went on with mom and you shouldn't have been taken out on Seimei and I. You knew what she put me through, and yet you _left me_ there with her for years. After Seimei died, I had no one. Mother didn't want me. Seimei was gone. My former friends thought I was weird. Uncle Tye and his family had nothing to do with us. I was alone. completely alone. And yet my father was running around with other women.

Do you have _any_ idea how much it hurt when I first saw you with Amia and her kid? You didn't want kids, you claimed, yet you had my brother and I and abandoned us. But you were there for her kid. You didn't know I was there, I don't think. I was in the park visiting Osamu when I saw you three having a picnic and playing around. Honestly, I never had any feelings of hatred towards you, but in that moment, I hated you. I hated that you couldn't bear to be around me, yet you were perfectly fine raising some other woman, some other man's child.

I'm not doing this because I want to. I'm doing it because it's a school Father's Day project to write a letter for your father. It's strange. I live with friends, older friends. Kio and Akira, a couple. They're more like fathers to me than you. Akira helps me with homework and Kio lets me talk to him about my relationship problems. (Speaking of relationship drama, I might as well tell you I'm gay. I'm probably going to mention a few guys here, so I should at least explain I'm not talking about friends.) They drive me to school and to dates and school functions. They let my friends come over and spend the night and play video games and eat junk food until it's almost morning again. They put up with the twins' shenanigans and comfort Yuiko when she cries over being bullied. They put up with my crap and my drama. They scold me when I do something stupid or wrong. They help me with school projects and birthday parties and presents for holidays. Kio helps me look for Soubi and comforts me when I have nightmares that he's not coming back. I guess it's okay, though I really do love and miss him and hope he comes back soon. It's been hard. Mom kicked me out when I was fourteen, you know. That's why I live with them. It's nice. Having people there that care about me.

I don't understand why you've made zero effort to try and connect with me, reconnect with your only living biological son. I mean, you're perfectly okay with being a father to that kid. Why can't you be a father to me? I need you too, you know. Mother may hate you and me, and you may hate mother, but that doesn't mean you should hate me. I don't think you do, but what do I know? I'm just the second kid you never wanted, the kid you wanted mom to get rid of. That's right, I know all of your dirty little secrets, father. But I don't resent you. You didn't think you could handle having another child. That's understandable, I guess, but it does still sting.

Everyone else is making art pieces or writing happy letters in bubbly writing with colored markers and pens. Me? I'm just writing a monotone black inked letter on a piece of basic lined notebook paper for a man that will never get it since I don't see him and don't know where the hell he managed to get off to. Even if I could give this to you, I doubt you'd even spare it another glance except to throw it in the trash.

I've had it rough with relationships, you know. Every relationship I've been in so far has ended shortly after, never lasting too long. Karou cheated on me multiple times, mostly with women. Teru dumped me for some guy he met online (who dumped him like a week later because he got back with his ex-girlfriend. Karma). Ryou and Kito were alright guys. But we couldn't stay together. I'm still so attached to Soubi. I miss him so much. Soubi. Poor, poor Soubi. Forced to leave. Ryou and I are on good terms, so are Kito and me. But Soubi…I don't know what to feel about him. yes, he was forced to leave. Yes, he could have chosen to fight it and stay with me. But he didn't. He left me alone to follow someone that abuses the hell out of him. It's tragic, really. I wonder if he'll ever come back. Most people think he won't. I still hold onto the hope, though…

I guess I could go on forever about being abandoned and what not by both you and mother, but there's no point in beating a dead horse. Things happened the way they did and there's nothing that can be done to change that. I know some of your friends from when you were a kid, you know. They're disgusted by your actions. A few even ashamed that they were friends with someone so weak. Mother says Seimei always called you weak, even she always said you were weak. But for some reason, I'm not sure that's it. You were strong enough to leave a relationship you knew was dead. You were strong enough to find a new woman and fall in love with her. You are strong enough to raise a child that's not even yours. I don't know if you and she are planning on having children together, but I only hope you do a better job being a father to them than you were to me. In a way, I guess I envy her kid for having you. You should be teaching me how to ride a bike and play baseball. You should be helping me with my homework and teaching me how to drive. You should be spending time with me and doing things with me. You should be there for me to talk to when I need you. You should be threatening my boyfriend or a guy I want to date to not hurt me or you'll hurt them, should be scolding me for dong stupid things and grounding me to teach me a lesson. You shouldn't be doing this for some other kid. You should be doing that for your own kid. And yet, here we are. Myself alone in Tokyo with my friends, and you probably somewhere in Kyoto with your new family. You don't need us anymore, right?

Well, that's enough of the passive-aggressive complaining about nothing and everything hour. I don't care if I finish early. That's all I'm doing. I don't know, maybe I'll write letters for Akira and Kio too or something. Who knows.

Goodbye,

Aoyagi Ritsuka

 **Ritsuka,**

You're the last person in the world I'd ever expect to get a letter from. One of the sensei at your school is a client in my office, so they brought me the letter. I'm shocked you would contact me, let alone think I would just throw it out. Though, honestly, I suppose I deserve it. I know I haven't been the best father in the world, or just a father period. I should have taken you with me. I should have left your mother before I found someone else. I should have at least reported your mother for abuse. I'm not all that surprised she tossed you out, though I'm surprised she did that to a fourteen-year-old instead of waiting until you were eighteen. Seems like you found a god home, though, I'm glad.

I think about you a lot. I wonder often how things could have been different, and how you're doing now. I'm sorry you're having such trouble romantically, but maybe this Soubi person will come back and you can work things out. It might be worth waiting for him instead of trying to find someone else. At least two of your exes are on civil terms with you, that's a good thing. I'm not civil with an of my exes, least of all your mother, but I digress. Honestly, I knew you were into men before you told me. I did see you on a field trip holding hands with some boy with bright pink hair. One of your exes, I'm guessing? I was a little surprised, but in this family, nothing surprises me anymore. I got a call from an old friend the other day about you. Dr. Kunugi, if you remember him? Seems he knows more about you than even I do. He went off on me for leaving you behind when I left. I deserve that. I deserve as much yelling and hatred and anger as you can all muster to throw at me.

I know I've never been the best man in the world. I run away from my problems more than I should, and I'm working on that. I would like to see you one day, son, if that's alright with you. I'm not expecting it to be all sunshine and rainbows, and I'm not expecting you to suddenly decide to leave your friends to stay with me or anything like that, but I feel I at least owe you a face to face talk and an attempt at mending the broken bridges between us. I was never close with my father. I don't want you to suffer the same fate as I did.

I'd say I know where you live and can just drop by, but we both know that isn't the case anymore, so I'll leave my number at the end of this letter if you want to talk.

I'd just like to say I'm proud of you, son. With all the garbage you've been through in life, you're still the strong one of the family. Your mother always thought Seimei was the strong one. I can't speak for the dead, but I think she's wrong, I really do. I know it isn't me, and I'm damn certain your mother isn't even ninety percent sane, let alone strong. If I were you, I probably would have given up a long time ago. But you press on. That's good. That determination might just save your life one day.

I won't take up too much of your time here. I just want you to know how awfully sorry I am that I've let you go through all this alone. Amia would like very much to meet you. I hope we can meet on mutual ground and work things out between us. Even if you're not living with me, I'd still like it if you were able to talk with me openly.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Love,

Aidien

555-019-2849

000

 **Tarahan, Father's Day, 2007**

Fuck you.

Nisei

 **Nisei,**

You're twenty-one years old. Grow up.

Tarahan

 **Tarahan,**

Twenty-three. Great parenting.

Nisei

 **Nisei,**

Don't care.

Tarahan

 **Tarahan,**

Clearly.

Nisei


End file.
